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of a teacher's mental representation: |
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<<Rosine: I used to love maths a lot. In fact I loved all subjects and I had no idea wathsoever about fate and as nobody in my own family was in fact gifted for maths, they were questioning the source of such a liking; Actually, as far as I'm concerned the maths meant a shelter where nobody would bother me; I shut up myself, I felt quiet. I was said: she is within her maths, leave her alone. Finally I actually confine myself in them.
N: For you what mean maths? R: For me, maths are beautiful, somewhat esthetical, satisfactory... something personal too, which means that nobody would interfere, meddle between maths and myself. I believe it is of the outmost importance, it is so my own estate, it's gorgeous, I feel at home. To start with, I wished to involve myself in research activity; I spent hours, days, holidays on maths and it was certainly quite a fulfillment. I felt that it will go on forever, endlessly. It is frightening for me when I consider the real life: I thought I was achieving something, I believed to fall in love of somebody... I was so much eager of this, that I did'nt realize what was going on all around and therefore quite unexpectly, occured some collapse. Many times it happened and as a matter of example in the field of friendship: but with maths I am sure it will not happen, for I stick on my own and here there are only maths and I, I do believe it...I feel that in maths, nobody would disturb me; would'not?...No, I don't know. There is perhaps something I don't understand. It's may be just a fantasy by which I think that nobody can harm me...when it is my own will which leads me to solve a problem in maths...it is in fact a matter of willingness.>>
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